There’s a lot of etiquette involved with weddings and things can get quite complicated. Everyone has their own ideas about who should get an invitation for what and where. If you’ve ever wondered who should attend a hen do, you’re not alone—many people find this part of planning tricky. Even the hen do can suffer from etiquette issues, especially when deciding who to invite. When planning your guest list, it’s important to consider the bride’s preferences, as her happiness should be at the centre of the celebration. You might also ask yourself how many people to invite, as the number of attendees can really shape the atmosphere and style of the event. Typically, you’ll want to invite your best friends, sisters, sister-in-law, mother, and bridesmaids, as these are key people to include. If the bride has a daughter, she might also be someone to consider inviting to make the event more meaningful. So who should you invite to your hen party, and how do you decide who receives invitations?
Planning the Guestlist
When it comes to planning the guestlist for your hen party, getting it right can make all the difference to the atmosphere and the memories you create. The first step is always to think about the bride’s preferences—after all, this is her special night! Start by jotting down the bride’s closest friends and family. Her closest friends, including her best friends, childhood friends, university friends, sisters, and mother, are usually the first names on the list, as these are the people she’ll want by her side to celebrate.
Next, consider the wider circle. Are there close friends from school, university, or work that the bride would love to have at her hen party? Maybe there’s a group of colleagues she’s particularly close to, or friends from her hometown who’ve been part of her life for years. Don’t forget to check in with the bride about inviting her mother-in-law—if they have a great relationship, it can be a lovely gesture, but only if the bride is keen.
Remember, you don’t have to feel obliged to invite everyone the bride knows. It’s perfectly fine to invite some colleagues or friends and not others. Keeping the hen party small and intimate, focusing on the people who mean the most to her, is often the best approach. Sometimes, a smaller group of her closest friends and family makes for a more relaxed and enjoyable night. Think about the group dynamics too—choose guests who will get along and help create a fun, positive vibe for the evening.
Setting a maximum number of guests can help keep things manageable and within budget. Consider what the bride would prefer in terms of group size and atmosphere, as this can influence the overall experience. If you’re worried about people dropping out, have a backup list of friends you can invite if spaces open up. Throughout the planning process, keep the lines of communication open with the bride. Make sure she’s happy with the guestlist and feels comfortable with everyone who’s invited.
To keep everything organised, designate someone to coordinate the guestlist, activities, and budget, ensuring the event runs smoothly and aligns with the bride’s preferences. When it comes to inviting guests, think about the best way to spread the word about the hen party, whether it’s through group chats, emails, or printed invitations.
Finally, think about the activities you have planned for the hen party. Whether it’s a spa session, a nice meal, or a big night out, invite people who will enjoy and get involved in the fun. The most important thing is that the bride feels surrounded by her favourite people, ready to celebrate this exciting time in her life. With a little thought and planning, you’ll create a hen party guestlist that guarantees a fantastic night for everyone involved! And don’t worry—what matters most is making the bride happy and creating special memories together.
The ‘Mothers' Question
One of the first considerations for brides or their chief bridesmaid when arranging the hen party is the mothers. This includes the bride's mum, groom's mum, step mums, and dad’s partners—all the different options. Do you invite them or not?
The answer to this question is twofold – what are they like and what do you plan to do? Are the bride's mothers quite traditional and don’t drink? In that case, a fun weekend to Ibiza might not be their scene. Or are they real party animals who are first into the bar on a holiday? If she's the type who loves to have fun and join in, then no problem.
The mother-in-law question can also need a little additional consideration. For instance, if you plan to have Buff Butlers running your hen party evening, is the bride's mother-in-law going to be a bit put out by this? Or will she be waiting at the door to greet the guys? It's important to consider if she's the right person for this kind of event.
Thinking about their personalities, their tastes and their feelings are important. If you want a funky hen party but the bride's mum or the groom's mum are more traditional, why not do two? Go to Ibiza with the girls then have a meal at a nice restaurant with the older generation. Everyone is happy that way.
The Financial Question
Sometimes you have to think a little outside the box when it comes to hen parties and who to ask. Sure, you want your friends there and to have a brilliant time but can your friend who just had a baby afford a weekend in Ibiza? And would she want to leave the little one?
A hen party is a special happening that deserves careful planning. What you do and the financial considerations around it is something to think about. When planning, it's important to choose the right course of action for the celebration, ensuring the event is tailored to the bride and enjoyable for everyone. While going abroad or to somewhere like London is a brilliant idea for a hen party, you don’t have to travel far. If it is more important to have all your friends around, then go for somewhere nearer to home. Lots of cities scattered around the country are hotspots for hen parties so check out guides and choose one that is nearer home. When planning, consider the specific town, local venues, and transportation options to make sure the event runs smoothly and everyone can participate. Also, remember to include time for rest and relaxation in your schedule, such as spa visits or quiet breaks, to keep everyone comfortable throughout the celebration. Compared to a stag party, hen parties may focus more on bonding and relaxation, so tailor your plans accordingly.
People Not Coming to the Wedding
Sometimes there are people you want at the hen party but who aren’t invited to the wedding. Small weddings often leave people out and most people will be understanding. You can also use the hen party as a way to celebrate with them.
However, don't use an excuse to exclude someone unnecessarily—be honest with people about why they are or aren't invited to the hen party. If you think they are going to spoil the evening in a huff about not coming to the wedding, then drop them from the hen party life too. No negativity allowed!
Surprise or Not?
One last consideration for the chief bridesmaid if you are arranging the hen party – should it be a surprise or not? With the guest list, if you know the bride well enough to make the invites without consulting her and not miss anyone, then that's great. But otherwise, you might want to chat about the guest list, even if you hold back on what you are doing for the event.
Finalising the Details
When it comes to finalising the details of your hen party, it’s all about making sure the event truly reflects the bride’s personality and preferences. Whether you’re planning a small hen with just her closest friends or a bigger bash with more people involved, the key is to create an atmosphere where the bride feels comfortable, celebrated, and ready to have a good time.
Start by thinking about the size of the group. Some brides love the idea of an intimate gathering—a nice meal at her favourite restaurant or a relaxing spa session with her best friends and family. This can be the perfect way to unwind, catch up, and enjoy some quality time together before the big day. For others, a lively night out with a larger group, complete with dancing, cocktails, and a bit of cheeky fun, might be more their style. There’s no right or wrong answer—just what suits the bride best.
It’s also important to consider the mix of people you’re inviting. The bride’s closest friends, sisters, and female friends are usually at the top of the list, but don’t forget about family members and in-laws, like the mother-in-law, if the bride would enjoy having them there. The most important thing is that everyone invited will help create a positive, fun vibe for the evening. If the bride isn’t keen on inviting certain people, that’s perfectly fine—she shouldn’t feel obliged to include anyone she’s not comfortable with.
When deciding on activities, think about what the bride enjoys. If she’s not a fan of drinking or big nights out, a dinner party or a pampering day might be more her speed. On the other hand, if she loves a bit of excitement, you could plan a night of dancing or some classic hen party games. Tailor the evening to her tastes, and don’t be afraid to get creative with the plans.
If you’re wondering about inviting colleagues or friends of friends, consider how close the bride is to them. If they’re part of her inner circle and she’d love to celebrate with them, go ahead and add them to the guest list. If not, it’s absolutely fine to keep the event limited to her best friends and family. The last thing you want is for the bride to feel uncomfortable or out of place at her own hen party.
Ultimately, the perfect hen party is one where the bride feels surrounded by the people she loves most, doing the things she enjoys. By focusing on her preferences, being thoughtful about the guest list, and planning activities that suit her style, you’ll create a night (or weekend!) that she’ll remember forever. So take the time to get the details right, and you’ll be well on your way to organising a hen party that’s as special and unique as the bride herself.